The COVID-19 crisis is proving to be an anxious time for most of us, and with school closures, rumours of lockdowns and fake news it can be overwhelming for all of us – including our children.

Our friends at Action for Children have offered tips on how to help your children cope with stress and a host of other issues that can affect their mental health and well-being. Action for Children’s Building Sound Minds App/Website offers parents support too, with the option of an online chat or phone call with its staff throughout the UK. Visit  https://minds.actionforchildren.org.uk/

Support can also be found on the Young Minds Website https://youngminds.org.uk. It provides useful resources and advice on looking after our mental health while social distancing or self-isolating and talking to your children about coronavirus.

 Ten tips inspired by Young Minds Parents’ Helpline:

• Try not to shield your child from the news, as it’s likely they will find out somehow
• Talk to your child about what is going on, starting with how much they have heard so far
• Try to answer their questions and reassure them in an age-appropriate manner. Remember, you do not need to know all the answers, but talking can help them feel calm
• Reassure your child that it is unlikely they will get seriously ill, and if they do feel ill you will look after them. Your child might be concerned about who will look after you if you catch the virus. Let them know the kind of support you have as an adult so that they don’t feel they need to worry about you
•  Give some practical tips to your child about how they can look after themselves. For example, show them how to wash their hands properly, and remind them when they should be doing it
• Keep as many regular routines as possible, so that your child feels safe and that things are stable
• Spend time doing a positive activity with your child (e.g. reading, playing, painting, cooking) to help reassure them and reduce their anxiety. This is also a great way of providing a space for them to talk through their concerns, without having a ‘big chat’
• Encourage your child to think about the things they can do to make them feel safer and less worried
• Be aware that your child may want more close contact with you at this time and feel anxious about separation. Try to provide this support whenever possible
• Remember to look after yourself too. If you yourself are feeling worried, or anxious about coronavirus, talk to someone you trust who can listen and support you
• There are more resources on the Young Minds website to help families cope with sleep difficulty and stress-related issues.

There are also helpful apps on mindfulness and mediation, including Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer. 

Further help

Lifeline – support for those in distress or despair:  0800 808 8000

Childline 0800 1111

Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

Samaritans 24 hour helpline – 116 123

Parent Line NI operate a WebChat through www.ci-ni.org.uk Monday to Thursday 9am-9pm, Friday 9am -5pm and Saturday 9am-1pm.Helpline on 0808 8020 400 to avail of any of these services. Opening hours are, Monday to Thursday 9am-9pm, Friday 9am -5pm and Saturday 9am-1pm.

24 Hour Domestic and Sexual violence Helpline 0808 802 1414

As Northern Ireland announces the first death from coronavirus, anxiety levels may be rising among us.

It is normal to feel anxious and stressed in these times of troubling news headlines, and on top of our previous tips to help you cope, there are more ways of lessening feelings of panic and despair, and to help us through the continuing crisis.

Let’s begin by being as calm, wise and kind as possible to each other as we take positive steps to look after our mental and physical health.

There are a number of things you can do to help tackle the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as the simple 5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique. Name five things you can see; name four things you can feel; name three things you can hear; name two things you can smell; and lastly, name one good thing about yourself.

Deep breathing exercises can also help you manage stress levels and relax your body if you feel burdened by anxiety.

The use of essential oils can also help you tackle moments of anxiety. By keeping some close, in your pocket or bag, you can use them whenever you need a distraction from feelings that overwhelm you. Lavender oil can also aid sleep when you go to bed.

Music can also help you in times of stress. Listening to a repeated sound of between 35-65 bpm – including soft and relaxing instrumental music – can help slow the heard and reduce the amount of cortisol that your body produces in times of stress.

Items known as Grounding Props can also help. They are items you can carry around with you that you can hold in your hand at times of stress and which can help bring you back to the present moment. For example a keyring, a favourite wallet photo or inspirational quote or a keyring – it’s your choice.

Getting out into nature is a great way of boosting your emotional well-being. A daily dose of nature, even if just ten minutes out in your garden or any green space, lowers stress, improves mental focus and reduces tiredness.

There is an exercise known as the ‘Three A Day’ which prompts you to choose three small positive actions to complete each day. You can choose whatever you want, from drinking more water, walking a certain distance or simply getting up out of bed at a certain time – again, it’s up to you.

Social distancing and self-isolation

If you are self-isolating and find yourself at home, there are so many things you can do to help fend off boredom and to lessen the chance of getting stressed or anxious…

More help is at hand:

Anxiety UK https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/products/anxiety-condition/health-anxiety/health-anxiety-fact-sheet-instant-download/ Contact Anxiety UK by email ([email protected]) or by calling the helpline on 03444 775 774 between the opening hours of 9.30am – Public Health Agency’s Minding Your Head service at https://www.mindingyourhead.info/

Mental Health Foundation – https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Aware NI are also offering online support groups – https://www.aware-ni.org/how-we-can-help-you/aware-ni-online-support-groups.

URGENT HELP

Samaritans – 116 123

Lifeline – 0808 808 8000

Childline – 0800 1111

There are a number of free Apps which can also help alleviate stress levels, including:

Chill Panda

Catch-It

Silver Cloud

The global coronavirus outbreak has caused considerable concern among communities across the world. Nearly everyone has a friend or family member who falls into an ‘at risk’ category and who they are particularly worried about. Those who suffer from an underlying health condition may be even more worried about their health.

It can be easy for anyone to struggle to manage their anxiety levels when faced with such a swiftly-changing situation and it is natural to fear the unknown and to feel worried when we lack control over our lives.

But there are simple things we can do that may help, to stay mentally and physically well during these unsettling times, like avoiding news overload and believing everything you read on social media that comes from anything but the real experts.

• Limit the amount of time you spend reading or watching things which aren’t making you feel better. Perhaps decide on a specific time to check in with the news;
• There is a lot of misinformation swirling around – stay informed by sticking to trusted sources of information such as government and NHS websites
• Take control by muting key words which might be triggering on Twitter and unfollow or mute accounts
• Choose one of the Mute Notifications for a certain time on WhatsApp groups and hide Facebook posts and feeds if you find them too overwhelming.

Another way of coping with the stress of the coming months of uncertainty, is by embracing the Five Ways to Well-Being, developed by the New Economics Foundation.

The Five Ways provide five key steps that you can take as your mental ‘five-a-day’ to contribute to your overall well-being and during this unprecedented time, they may provide something to help you cope:

•          Connect – even if you can’t physically be with your friends and loved ones, connect with them via phone, email, Skype, Facetime – whatever way you choose.

•          Be Active – exercise may be limited at the moment, but it makes us feel good and we can still go for a walk – while keeping a distance of two metres – between yourself and other people; make your home your gym by following an online video or make up a circuit of exercise in your garden.

•          Take Notice – this tip advocates stopping and pausing or take a moment to look around you now and take notice of the beautiful, new, unusual or extraordinary things in your everyday life. Even if your options are limited at the moment, there’ll be something to notice.

•          Keep Learning – these troubling times might be the perfect opportunity for you to learn a new thing, while you’re prevented from carrying on your day-to-day routine. You can access countless ‘how to’ videos online these days so why not learn a new craft or hobby, a new instrument or even a new language.

•          Give – The opportunity to give to others may be limited at the moment however, you could help an elderly neighbour in self-isolation by buying them groceries or offering to walk their dog, while still following the official hygiene advice on preventing the spread of Covid-19.

The National Health Service has also published tips to help you cope with the consequences of the pandemic:

• Spend time doing things you enjoy – this might include reading, cooking, other indoor hobbies or listening to the radio or watching your favourite programmes;
• Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, drink enough water, and try to avoid smoking, alcohol and drugs;
• Keep your windows open to let in fresh air, get some natural sunlight if you can, hear birdsong, or get outside into the garden.

If you are feeling concerned or overly worried there are some techniques you can use to help manage your anxiety such as simple breathing or (short-term) distraction exercises and mindfulness. A free guide is available to download from the organisation, Anxiety UK (https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/products/booklet/breathing-and-relaxation-guide/);

Try practising the APPLE technique which encourages you to Acknowledge, Pause, Pull back, Let go and Explore…

Acknowledge – Notice and acknowledge the uncertainty as it comes to mind.

Pause – Don’t react as you normally do. Don’t react at all. Just pause and breath.

Pull back – Tell yourself this is just the worry talking, and this apparent need for certainty is not helpful and not necessary. It is only a thought or feeling. Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are not statements or facts.

Let go – Let go of the thought or feeling. It will pass. You don’t have to respond to them. You might imagine them floating away in a bubble or cloud.

Explore – Explore the present moment, because right now, in this moment, all is well. Notice your breathing and the sensations of your breathing. Notice the ground beneath you. Look around and notice what you see, what you hear, what you can touch, what you can smell. Right now. Then shift your focus of attention to something else – on what you need to do, on what you were doing before you noticed the worry, or do something else – mindfully with your full attention.

Further resources

Anxiety UK https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/products/anxiety-condition/health-anxiety/health-anxiety-fact-sheet-instant-download/ Contact Anxiety UK by email ([email protected]) or by calling the helpline on 03444 775 774 between the opening hours of 9.30am – Public Health Agency’s Minding Your Head service at https://www.mindingyourhead.info/

Mental Health Foundation – https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Aware NI are also offering online support groups – https://www.aware-ni.org/how-we-can-help-you/aware-ni-online-support-groups.

URGENT HELP

Samaritans – 116 123

Lifeline – 0808 808 8000

Childline – 0800 1111

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Action Mental Health has been chosen as the charity of the year by technology firm, Outsource Solutions. The company boasts a staff of 50 across five locations across the British Isles, including Dublin, Edinburgh, Antrim and Cookstown.

Partnering with a charity can reap untold rewards for a business. Not only does it help promote a worthy cause and help raise much-needed cash for the charity, it also underpins the ethos of a company that values its place in the community, not just the bottom line.

Action Mental Health is heavily reliant on the support it receives through corporate partnerships, with firms across Northern Ireland helping to raise funds for its mental health promotion programmes for children, young people and adults experiencing periods of mental ill health.

Terry Moore, CEO at Outsource said the company was delighted to announce the charity as its annual charity recipient.

“Outsource staff are committed to giving back to local communities and charities with teams constantly looking for innovative ways to raise funds, support and donate to local causes. Action Mental Health does amazing work across Northern Ireland in raising awareness and supporting people in need or in crisis, working to enhance the quality of life and the employability of people with mental health needs or a learning disability.”

He added:

“Mental health and well-being needs to be a priority for us all. At Outsource we build and develop relationships and are committed to Making Life Better for our staff, our customers and local communities. It is our privilege to support Action Mental Health in this small way and support the fantastic work they lead bringing positive change and removing the stigma associated with mental health. As our partner of the year, we look forward to doing our small bit to support their work by getting involved in a range of planned events to raise vital funds to help the charity continue their efforts in tackling this issue.”

Outsource employees Gena Notman and Damien Atkinson will spearhead the company’s efforts to raise awareness and funds for Action Mental Health. The pair already have organised a wide range of activities to encourage staff to participate, including the Belfast Marathon and abseiling events.

Action Mental Health’s Fundraising & Communications Manager, Jonathan Smyth added his thanks to the staff at Outsource for selecting AMH as their new charity partner.

‘We really couldn’t provide the services we do without the support of local businesses like Outsource, so we are absolutely thrilled to be chosen by their staff. The team at Outsource are clearly dedicated to making a difference to the lives of people here in Northern Ireland and this partnership will help achieve that by allowing us to reach more local school children with our vital programmes. We are really looking forward to working together.’

New Horizons Fermanagh Catering Skills Coach Elaine Stinson has been rewarded for her sterling service to Action Mental Health with a coveted ICE award – heralding her Innovation, Creativity and Excellence.

Conferred by AMH chief executive David Babington, Elaine was nominated by Service Manager Caroline Ferguson who found her deserving on many fronts, identifying her culinary skills, combined with astute and perceptive people skills as particularly worthy, as well as her support for Fermanagh clients on their road to recovery.

She said Elaine, who has been with AMH for 29 years, goes above and beyond her official duties to turn her hand to myriad opportunities for community engagement, especially securing fundraising for New Horizons Fermanagh.

“Elaine is an excellent cook who loves to have an event to showcase her skills, and she has demonstrated a real skill for co-ordinating and leading a diverse catering team.

“Elaine has demonstrated the role of good food and warm hospitality in building good relationships, and she has innovatively used this to secure funding for the service. Elaine is alert, on all occasions in all her dealings with people, to the potential benefit they may be to our service, and in her very unassuming way , she has maximised that potential.

“She has provided a key role in our fundraising efforts this year, providing income which will be used to improve services to our AMH clients. In addition she has forged strong external relationships with key individuals in our local community, who have the potential to support the service.”

David praised Elaine for her efforts, stating: “We are delighted to confer this ICE award on Elaine who, after almost 30 years with the charity, has shown great flair in each of the requisite categories. She has led her catering team with aplomb, inspired clients to greater confidence and has encouraged the community to support us.”

If you are worried about someone’s eating behaviors or attitudes, it is important to express your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is also necessary to discuss your worries early on, rather than waiting until they have endured many of the damaging physical and emotional effects of eating disorders.

Approaching the subject of an eating disorder can be a daunting prospect.  Remember that recovery is so much more difficult in an atmosphere of secrecy and denial, and the disorder will not go away by itself. Talking about it can be an essential first step

What to Say – Step by Step

Set a time to talk. Set aside a time for a private, respectful meeting with them to discuss your concerns openly and honestly in a caring, supportive way. Make sure you will be some place away from other distractions.

Talk to them one to one. If other people are around it people feel like you’re ganging up on them.

Communicate your concerns. Share your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about their eating or exercise behaviors. Explain that you think these things may indicate that there could be a problem that needs professional attention.

Ask them to explore these concerns with a GP, counsellor, doctor, nutritionist, or other health professional that is knowledgeable about eating issues. If you feel comfortable doing so, offer to help them to make an appointment or accompany them on their first visit.

Avoid conflicts or a battle of the wills with them. If they refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem, or give any reason for you to be concerned, restate your feelings and the reasons for them and leave yourself open and available as a supportive listener.

Have some information about eating disorders to hand. They may not feel ready to talk or share with you yet but if they can go away with information to read that helps them to recognise they may need help, they are more likely to come forward when they’re ready to ask for support.

Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt on them regarding their actions or attitudes. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements. For example: “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch.” Or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.”

Be aware that they’re likely to be feeling embarrassed, shamed and scared. Acknowledge that this must be difficult for them and reassure them that you aren’t there to judge, but to support.

Avoid giving simple solutions. For example, “If you’d just stop, then everything would be fine!”

Express your continued support. Remind them that you care and want them to be healthy and happy.

Erin McClean, AMH everyBODY Project Worker tells us why she is #TakingActionOnEatingDisorders this Eating Disorder Awareness Week

I am all too familiar of the daily struggle of living with a relentless ringing inside your head.

Eating disorders is not primarily about food or weight it’s a coping mechanism under the guise of a supportive friend.

It becomes the centre of your world.

There is hope and I am proof that the ringing can be silenced.

If you are struggling with food or your body and have a disordered relationship with either please reach out and let us help you realise that you’re enough just as you are.

Thanks to Ellen Kelly for sharing her story x

“For the past few years on Eating Disorder Awareness Week I have sat down to write a post to, not only raise awareness but, allow myself to reflect.

This year is no different, but this is by far the hardest post I’ve ever written, and I’m yet to decide if I’ll post it…so know if you’re reading this, it took a lot of reassurance from my mum and dad, who I no doubt made read over this a million times before triple checking if it was the right thing to do by sharing it with everyone.

The 25^th of Feb 2019 is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. It was the day I hit rock bottom and I don’t say that lightly. Everything had been building up, I’d been running from everything I was feeling but it had all caught up with me and knocked me right down, face forward on the ground.  

That’s the thing with Eating Disorders, they don’t act alone, often anxiety, depression and OCD go hand in hand, which a lot of people aren’t aware of.

It was the first day of my second-year teaching practise, my first one back after taking a year out due to being so unwell with anorexia. In the week leading up to it, things got very bad, but I was reluctant to reach out for help. I mustered up all the strength I could to drag myself out of bed and I did. I remember having to do my make up over and over due to tears constantly washing away any progress I’d made. I got through the entire day. I smiled, I taught my very first lesson in over a year, I chatted in the staff room as if nothing was wrong, but it was exhausting. At break and lunch, I cried in my teacher’s store by myself before pulling myself together and putting on that fake smile once again.

I got through the day, still even today I don’t know how. I got home and after my mum asked me how my day was, I completely broke down. I didn’t even have the energy to pretend anymore. She immediately rang the doctor after begging me to go and I was seen right away. The doctor I saw was the most understanding and compassionate woman I’ve ever met and believe me I know how lucky I was as it’s not always the case that all doctors have an understanding of mental health. Mum made me promise before I went in to be completely honest with her and as hard as it was, I told her everything. Having to see the look in my mum’s eyes as tears streamed down her face, when I recounted for the doctor my suicidal thoughts and the plan I had decided on, is something I will NEVER forget. The home crisis team were immediately notified, and I was put on anti-depressants that night. Let’s just say I didn’t spend my 21^st birthday on the 5^th of March 2019 the way I had dreamed I would. Despite it all I never gave up, with two weeks off placement I decided to go back, determined to finish the year and not let my mental health win. It wasn’t easy I cried almost every morning, but with the support of my incredible family and friends, and the most amazing staff in the school I was in (who didn’t know the whole ins and outs of what I was going through but were so kind and understanding regardless) I DID IT. Fast forward just a little after a year to the day, I’m now more than halfway through my 3^rd year of my teaching degree, currently on teaching practise and LOVING IT. After flying to London by myself at the beginning of the year, I’ve got my dream job to work at Walt Disney World this summer (102 days to go – not that I’m counting haha!) I have the most amazing group of friends at University who I could tell absolutely anything to and who I would be lost without, some of which I’m living with this year. I’m the furthest I’ve ever been in my anorexia recovery and I feel more like myself than I have in years.

So if you’re reading this and finding yourself in the position I was in a year ago, this is the proof you need, hang on, keep fighting, know that you are NEVER alone and I promise you even if it doesn’t seem like it now, things CAN and WILL get better x

Ellen Kelly