Q1 – Firstly what was it that led to you coming in contact with ourselves at AMH everyBODY?

I had been receiving support from the Well Mind hub in relation to anxiety but then started to open up about how my relationship with food was starting to make things difficult for me in day to day life. It was the first time I was asked about my bingeing and purging, which was something I’d kept a secret for about 2 years. I sort of thought it was something I could just stop at any point, but then it turned from something I did every so often, to every week, to every day and then it didn’t feel like a choice anymore.

The referral was made really quickly as my sessions were ending soon with the Well Mind hub and then I met with yourselves the week after my last session.

Q2 – How did an Eating Disorder have an impact in your life?

It controlled everything.  I started to completely cut myself off from all my friends and even people closest to me. My moods were all over the show. One minute I would feel really emotional and the next I would feel so irritable and just snap at my parents for no reason. It was like Jekkyl and Hyde.  I was a nightmare to be around and the hardest thing was my head just felt overwhelmed all of the time. I just felt like simple things were impossible to do and I had self-doubts about everything.  On top of that I had no energy, I was either over sleeping or not sleeping at all. Everything seemed to be in the extremes, it seemed like there was no balance in my life at all.

Q3 – How did receiving support through AMH everyBODY impact you?

I have to admit I was a bit hesitant at first and part of me didn’t feel ready to let go of my eating disorder, but from the very first meeting I felt like I was listened to and not judged. I felt like I could finally be open about how I had been feeling and it was honestly such a massive weight off my shoulders. Also knowing that my family were also getting support to find out more about what eating disorders were really improved things while I was living at home, it brought us a lot closer together.

I guess I learnt a lot about myself and that there was a lot in my life I did have a choice around, sometimes my eating disorder made me feel like I had no other choice. The support helped me find me again.

Q4 – Six months on from receiving support how is life different for you now?

I’ve had the confidence to get a job and start to connect socially again. There’s a lot of things in life now that I actually look forward to and can get excited about. Yes I still have days I struggle, but even on the bad days I know now what I can try to do to cope in a healthier way. I have a lot more head space.  I used to put myself under so much pressure to have things perfect and now I know perfection is a lie. I’ve also been able to move out and live on my own again, I feel like I’ve got my freedom back, both physically and in my head. Life feels a lot more balanced and manageable.

Q5- What did you learn on your journey of Recovery?

That under my eating disorder I was actually a pretty great person with a lot to give to the world. That I was deserving of the same kindness I tried to show others, and that putting myself first sometimes wasn’t selfish. I was so used to believing that my needs were less than others that I was just used to doing without, I started to discover that it felt good to start to do things that sparked a bit of joy, or fun or comfort!

I also learnt that food was never the enemy, it was just a way for me to cope with uncomfortable feelings, to not have to feel them. I learnt new ways to cope like grounding tools, deep breathing and doing things off my comfort list that meant I didn’t have to control food to cope with my emotions.

Most importantly I learnt to reach out and communicate when I did feel like I was starting to struggle, because not every day is going to be a good day and some days we need more help than others and that’s ok.

Q6 – What advice would you give to anyone who is concerned they are struggling with an Eating Disorder?

Don’t feel ashamed of what you are going through! So many more people go through this than are willing to talk about it. A lot of times we only see severe cases in the media or on television. A lot of the time, that’s the problem. Some people can’t identify with the serious cases of eating disorders they see on TV and they don’t get help as a result. Eating disorders don’t have a face. They affect so many different kinds of people from all walks of life. Many times, eating disorders are happening right in front of us. No one should feel afraid to reach out for help.

Q7 – Is there anything you found to be helpful for how people could support someone living with an eating disorder? For example with your family and friends?

This was one of the hardest things for me, because although my family meant well a lot of the time the way we communicated at the beginning of my recovery resulted in explosive arguments.  Try not to walk on eggshells around the person, you may feel like you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing but by saying nothing and walking on eggshells the person can feel an atmosphere and it can feel like it’s their fault and another thing for them to feel ashamed about. They might feel they are being treated differently because of their eating disorder.  Direct and open communication is always best…even if the person might fight against it in the beginning (I know I did!) sitting down and just saying “Look we want to talk about this because we’re concerned and we love you, but we’ve noticed that…” it takes the shame away when you talk about things that the eating disorder is trying so hard to keep hidden. One of the most helpful things my parents did after getting some support for themselves through the AMH everyBODY support group and by going on the FightED Maudsley course, was to ask me how it feels to have an eating disorder, and ask me what they can do to make things easier. Sometimes it was as simple as I needed them to sit with me after a meal, not talking but just watching tv as a distraction until I felt I could cope to go about my day again. Supporting someone doesn’t always mean talking or having to fix things for them, sometimes it’s just about being there.

Q8 – Would you feel comfortable accessing support in the future if you felt you needed to?

Yes I know now it’s absolutely essential to get support, it’s not something you can fight alone, or should you have to.

Why not make Action Mental Health part of your special day by making a donation in lieu of wedding favours or gifts? In return, we will provide unique wedding favour cards with pin badges, or an A5 card, acknowledging your support. The cards can be placed at your guests’ tables to show how much you care and to highlight your donation.

All you have to do is decide what you would like to order and how much. Simply tell us whether you would like your favours posted to you, adding £4 to your donation for postage – for example, wedding favour cards with pins for 100 guests posted = £204 donation; or whether you would prefer collecting them from our Central Office in Newtownards. See how handy order form by clicking the ‘Wedding Favours’ link at the bottom.

One couple who opted for AMH wedding favours was Janet and Peter Dunphy, who said: “We came across Action Mental Health wedding favours at the Ballygally Castle Hotel Wedding Fayre, which was also the chosen venue for our big day. Staff at the stand were extremely helpful and, as both Peter and I have mental health issues, we felt this charity hit close to home and was meaningful to us. Everyone at the wedding commented on how it was such a wonderful idea to make a charitable donation, especially to AMH, as many of our friends and family have also experienced life with mental health difficulties.”

All you have to do is decide what you would like to order and how much. Simply tell us whether you would like your favours posted to you, adding £4 to your donation for postage – for example, wedding favour cards with pins for 100 guests posted = £204 donation; or whether you would prefer collecting them from our Central Office in Newtownards. See how handy order form by clicking the ‘Wedding Favours’ link at the bottom.

Payment options

The fastest way to pay is to use the form at the bottom of this page. You’ll receive an automatic confirmation of receipt and a further confirmation email from our team, usually within one working day.

For direct debit, card payments over the phone or cheque payments, please email [email protected] with your order and specify which payment option you prefer.

FAQs

Order and pay for your wedding favours two weeks ahead of your wedding day to allow us to package and post your favours in good time.

Please note that your order will only be posted after we receive confirmation of payment. This sometimes takes five working days

Price list

A5 table cards – suggested donation £2 each

Wedding Favour card with pin badge attached – suggested donation £2 each

Wedding favour card only – suggested donation £1 each

Pin badge – suggested donation £1 each

Want to go further? Try donations instead of gifts

Ask your friends and family to make a donation to Action Mental Health instead of receiving wedding gifts. You can do this by setting up an online fundraising page JustGiving and include this link in your wedding invitations. Alternatively, you can order Action Mental Health donation envelopes to give to your guests by emailing [email protected]

Set up your JustGiving Page for gifts

And remember – look after yourself!

We all know that weddings can be one of the most joyful – but also stressful – days of our lives! You’ll want to make sure you speak to everyone, but remember to take a few minutes to take care of yourself. Plan a time to sit down and eat something, drink water and have a quiet moment of connection with your new spouse. It’s OK to put the needs of yourselves first on your wedding!

wedding favours

One step forward and three steps back.

Falling, stumbling, just scrambling to the surface.

Lost in what seems like a never ending void, an infinite limbo.

Aware of the me I want to be, but how to get there, where is my map.

Just one little step, that’s all it takes.

Mountains are climbed, oceans are travelled, battles are conquered with just one little step.

So why, oh why can’t I seem to move my feet.

Stuck here in my pillow fortress, my walls are caving in.

When will I begin?

This invisible cloak draped over my life, no-body else can see, do they even still see me?

How can you explain what you can’t see or touch, when the feelings become a blurry haze I can’t even understand.

My hope a burning ember, longing for a new.

Just to shake this fear, this guilt, this shame, to move into the light.

I still have dreams and hopes, a need to explore. My heart is still telling me, you are worth so much more.

How do I begin, when I still feel stuck within…

Just one little step.

Eating Disorders Awareness Week – Day 3

“I’m #TakingActionOnEatingDisorders because I want to speak out to help dispel the stigma and make others aware that eating disorders can effect any one of us; at anytime we can develop the fractious relationship with our eating. 

I want to introduce you and warn you of an old accomplice who I call Ana. You may have heard of her before however she typically thrives on secrecy and tends to hide away from social situations.  Ana is someone you need to be really careful around. 

Initially she appears as your friend, everything you desire – funny, confident, pretty, focused and thin. She can teach you so much (or so she leads you to believe); how to cope in adversity, helping you to thrive alongside helping you to make basic to difficult life decisions. The one person who gets you .. who understands you. She stands by you through the tough times, providing a shoulder to cry on and as a result you begin to trust her until she becomes your one and only – the one person you confide in. 

Ana helped me become the best version of me (or so I thought) I mean she helped me appear strong, resilient, confident, happy – how to place a fake smile and even kept me focused so I could finally stick to the diet I had long promised I’d try to stick to and become thinner, prettier – I mean she does sound like an amazing friend! 

Ana taught me how to finally see the pounds drop off so quick, how to starve myself without anyone noticing or making much fuss. She taught me how to enjoy exercising regularly throughout the day. But after a while she started to force me to look in the mirror every morning, pinching and grabbing at skin day by day to make sure it was disappearing, picking out all my flaws and insecurities. She made me change my clothes a dozen times before I found the right baggy clothes to hide my body that she detested to look at. She forced me on the scales four/ five/ six times a day to watch how food and fluid impacted on my weight, waiting and longing her approval- if I lost she was so happy and proud, encouraging me to keep up the ‘good work’ which made me feel so good-accepted, winning and finally doing something well. 

Yet when I stayed the same or gained, she called me all sorts of horrible names, screaming and arguing with me until I gave in to her demands and would haven taken a laxative or supplement or on the odd occasion spent time with her friend Mia just so she would be my friend again and be proud. For a long time, I just thought I found such an amazing friend as she was motivating, helping me to get success- the results in the mirror, on the scales and in day to day achievements I had longed for over the years. 

What I couldn’t understand though was others who were close to me really didn’t like her, they tried everything to tear us apart- they seen her as a problem, a negative influence leading me down a darkened path. I just couldn’t bare it, I felt like they were out to get me, jealous of me, trying to fatten me up and dampen my sparkle- well so Ana said. Eventually I became deceitful, isolating myself. hanging out with Ana behind their backs as she told me they were no good. Together myself and Ana watched the pounds drop off in secret until eventually I ended up very physically unwell, I couldn’t understand it- my heart began to cause trouble and I had to take a lot of time out to rest. Naturally when you’re physically unwell you need food to lift your energy and to help make you better. But she didn’t like this one bit, Ana turned nasty and got very controlling- a bully (and here was me thinking I had the control)! Everyday over the next while I spent being tortured by her all because I was trying to get better, struggling between the conflict of trying to get well and caving into her demands to have an easy life without her shouting at me all the time. I was so upset and became so emotionally exhausted, at an impasse .. how could she want me to live life like this?

It was at this stage I realised Ana maybe isn’t my friend after all. She was a manipulator, a liar, a bully, a parasite that prays on the vulnerable. I eventually spoke out and confided in people about Ana’s bullying and was very fortunate to have been supported quickly into getting amazing help. It was over the next while through a lot of formal and informal chats and coffee dates with highly supportive people I’ve been blessed to have in my life that I realised Ana doesn’t want what’s best for you, she wants to remove you from all that you have accomplished: relationships, career, education until it’s just you and her alone slowly dulling your sparkle until you begin to fade away and loose everything including your own identity and self-worth.

She associates your reality to making you feel so alone, like you aren’t enough- like you’re unworthy, making you believe the happiness you search for is only going to be found in the reflection of the mirror, the control of the number on the scales, the lowest limit in your clothes size- she keeps promising the lower you go the closer you will get to finding that happiness…..  but she is a con, a misery- and misery liked company! 

What I have learnt through all of this and hope that others can take away, is that it’s not the reflection or numbers or external beauty that truly makes you happy in life… it’s contentment and gratitude in all our surroundings, the caring people around us, the small achievements and accomplishments that we have made… even if it’s that we managed to get up out of bed this morning, our positive and quirky qualities/ personalities and caring hearts! 

So please begin to embrace those imperfections you see and may put yourself down for because to everyone else these are the marks of your authenticity and that’s the beauty of you that everyone loves! As long as your healthy your weight doesn’t matter and your reflection is irrelevant. 

So please if Ana or any of her other associates try to or do befriend you… in some cases even initially trying to mask themselves as the innocent voice of reason during ‘a diet’, please don’t keep your ‘friendship’ a secret! please share your encounters with people because what Ana doesn’t want you to know is that she is an EATING DISORDER slowly trying to deplete you until you may unfortunately loose the fighting battle against her chasing those unattainable goals that she promised so strongly.

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rates amongst any other mental illness with 20% of those experiencing an eating disorder never getting to make a full recovery. 

Therefore, I hope by sharing this encounter you can spot the signs early and speak out to get the help you deserve. Never feel embarrassed or afraid to share your story! (It’s easier said than done though, I know as I’m feeling these emotions now) But our health is our wealth and we all go through silent battles with mental ill-health with the main catalyst to hindering our prospects of recovery and accessing the support being that of silence and fear of the stigma. So don’t ever be ashamed! We are all in this together! 

As the saying goes, when we replace the “I” in illness with “we” it becomes wellness!

Let’s be kind and support one and other!”

On Day Two of Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2020 we assess the common myths and misconceptions that exist around eating disorders which can act as an obstacle to seeking help, for some people. The following myths are among those regularly heard by AMH everyBODY project workers:

Eating disorders are a choice 

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses which NO-ONE can CHOOSE to develop. Eating disorders develop as a result of a complex interaction between psychological, social and biological factors. Each person’s experience of an eating disorder will be unique to them. No-one can choose to develop an eating disorder;

Eating disorders are attention seeking

Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. The average times it takes someone to speak out and seek help for an eating disorder is three years. Three years is too long for anyone to be struggling in silence. We can help to change this by smashing the stigma and removing the shame.

Only females develop eating disorders

Anyone can develop an eating disorder, regardless of gender. Men can and do develop eating disorders, 25% of reported cases are male. Eating disorders do not discriminate along any lines whether that is gender, race, socio-economic status or age;

You must be really thin to have an eating disorder

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses which cannot be fully assessed on objective measures such as weight and shape.  Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes and you cannot tell by looking at someone whether or not they have an eating disorder. Many people who may appear to be within a normal weight range can actually be seriously struggling with a very serious eating disorder. These misconceptions can perpetuate the problem and may cause distress for those with an eating disorder who don’t look a certain way for fear of not being “sick enough” or “good enough” at their disorder to deserve treatment.

Eating disorders are just a phase

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses and must be treated as such. Early intervention and support is vital and greatly improves prognosis of the illness. If you suspect you have an eating disorder or you suspect a loved one has an eating disorder, please seek help now. Eating disorders do not just go away;

Eating Disorders are all about food and weight

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses. Individuals with eating disorders generally have a preoccupation with food and weight, but the symptoms of an eating disorder can extend far beyond food.  Research has shown links between eating disorders, perfectionism, and obsessive compulsions, which can lead to a fixation on grades, sports performance, etc.  At the core an eating disorder is used as a coping mechanism for difficult emotions and situations, and much more to do with how a person is feeling and their sense of self.

Eating Disorders are a teenage illness

While evidence indicates that adolescence is an extremely vulnerable stage for the development of an eating disorder, eating disorders can and do develop at any age. Eating disorders do not discriminate and anyone at any age can develop an eating disorder;

Strict rules about eating or fad diets aren’t a problem

What appears to be a strict diet on the surface may actually be the beginning of an eating disorder. Even if the symptoms do not meet the criteria for a clinical eating disorder diagnosis, disordered eating can have serious medical consequences, such as anemia and bone loss. Individuals dealing with serious disordered eating may benefit from intervention and treatment to address their concerns before it becomes a full-blown eating disorder. Chronic dieting has been associated with the later development of an eating disorder, so addressing these issues right away may prevent development into an eating disorder.

Recovery is rare

People can and do recover from eating disorders. Recovery is always possible. Recovery can take time and it can be extremely challenging but recovery is always possible.  

As a community we can improve awareness of Eating Disorders by being aware of these misconceptions and changing the conversation. Ensuring that there is an open conversation on the subject and removing any shame attached. Eating Disorders do not have a shape or size, they can affect anyone, anywhere, and everyBODY is deserving of help and support.

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week – an international week devised to shine a light on anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder and OSFED – a term used to describe ‘other specified feeding or eating disorder’ when a person’s symptoms fall outside the expected symptoms for these three specific eating disorders.

The theme of this year’s focus is “I’m #TakingActionOnEatingDisorders and through Action Mental Health’s eating disorder service everyBODY, people living with the disorders have been speaking out, sharing their stories, in the hopes they’ll inspire people to seek help, as quickly as possible.

It is a sad fact that many people wait an extended periods before seeking help. It’s estimated that on average, 149 weeks pass before those experiencing eating disorder symptoms seek help. That’s almost three years or 1,043 days. 

That’s too long to wait for anyone, especially in light of statistics which show that eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness, with one in five of the most seriously affected dying prematurely from the physical consequences or by suicide.

That’s why Action Mental Health’s eating disorder service everyBODY was launched. Operating in the Southern health trust area since 2000, it was formerly known as ADAPT but was relaunched in September 2018 as AMH everyBODY.

EveryBODY’s support employs a preventative, interventionist and postvention approach, targeting the general public with awareness-raising sessions to equip people with the knowledge and skills necessary to self or seek support.  

It also supports people affected by eating disorders, including family members and friends, to support recovery, and develops effective partnerships to ensure comprehensive, progressive support.

In light of the alarming suicide rate linked to eating disorders, AMH everyBODY promotes a greater understanding and awareness of these conditions. It promotes positive lifestyle choices, about eating to develop preventative and self-supporting skills. It also exists to help break the associated stigma – including unhelpful assumptions that it is attention-seeking behaviour or fad dieting that stops people seeking the support they need: in short, having an eating disorder is a serious mental health condition.

The focus of AMH everyBODY’s approach is recovery through partnership; a partnership between the person, their family and the Southern Health and Social Care Trust, who all work collectively to provide comprehensive support towards recovery.  AMH everyBODY provides much needed support not only to the person affected but also to their families and friends at the Carers’ Group monthly meeting.

Eating disorders affect over 700,000 women and men in the UK at any one time, with research suggesting that this figure is vastly underestimated. It is thought some 80% of individuals who screen positively for having an eating disorder have never accessed help or support.  One of the most harmful symptoms of an eating disorder is silence – AMH everyBODY encourages people affected to speak out for support and know that a listening, understanding and confidential ear will be there to provide support towards recovery.

As a community, part of spreading this awareness is by reducing some of the myths and misconceptions around eating disorder.

It is clear from our experience with clients how damaging misunderstanding, stigma and ignorance can be for both the person affected and their families. Indeed, there is no doubt that this stigma and ignorance can act as a major barrier to identification, early intervention and ultimately recovery from the illness.

Action Mental Health’s Deborah McCready, everyBODY Project Worker said: “AMH everyBODY exists to bridge the gap on the clients’ journey from the moment they seek help until they get to speak to a medical expert, as with existing waiting lists this can be some time.

“When people have taken that important step and are willing to engage and seek help AMH everyBODY offers a recovery approach in sessions when people will receive information and support to develop skills, stay focused and healthy until they see a therapist.”  Prior to appointments people can feel unsupported and alone, contact with AMH everyBODY at this time will help people support themselves and get the best from their therapist when they meet.

 

Action Mental Health is delighted to support Diabetes UK Northern Ireland’s pivotal new initiative for young people.

• A youth led programme uniquely designed for young people living with type 1 diabetes in Northern Ireland
• The programme aims to address the often overlooked emotional impact of diabetes

Diabetes UK Northern Ireland is launching a new mental health and emotional Wellbeing Programme designed for young people living with type 1 diabetes.

 The Our Lives, Our Voices project is funded by the National Lottery Community Fund NI and has been designed by young people living with type 1 diabetes, for young people living with the condition. Our Lives, Our Voices’ young leaders created the Wellbeing Programme to support others in gaining confidence and managing all aspects of their condition. This project aims to create a safe space where they can talk, learn and feel part of a community. It is the first time a youth-led programme like this, in partnership with local mental health charities, is available in Northern Ireland.

People withtype 1 diabetes cannot produce insulin. About 8 per cent of the nearly 100,000 people diagnosed with diabetes in Northern Ireland have type 1. No one knows exactly what causes it, but it’s not to do with being overweight and it isn’t currently preventable. It’s the most common type of diabetes in children and young adults, starting suddenly and getting worse quickly. Type 1 diabetes is treated by daily insulin doses – taken either by injections or via an insulin pump. It is also recommended to follow a healthy diet and take regular physical activity.

Management of physical symptoms 24/7 – for instance by checking blood glucose levels, or managing diet

alongside the continual need to make decisions, and take actions, in order to reduce the likelihood of short

and long-term complications, can affect every aspect of day-to-day life. Young people are also three

times more likely to experience psychological problems than those without diabetes. Recent

Diabetes UK research revealed that the relentless nature of diabetes can impact people’s emotional,

mental and psychological wellbeing and health − from day-to-day frustration and low mood, to specific

psychological and mental health difficulties such as clinical depression and anxiety.

Diabetes UK also found that 7 out of 10 people living with diabetes feel overwhelmed by the everyday demands of the condition which significantly affects their mental and physical health. The charity launched the ‘It’s Missing’ campaign to highlight the need for emotional and mental health provision as part of diabetes care.

Diabetes UK Assistant Director for Local Impact, Dr David Chaney, said, ‘This is a really exciting opportunity for young people in Northern Ireland living with type 1 diabetes. We know that there is a real need for emotional and mental health support and when you are living with the constant demands of type 1 diabetes that support has been lacking. This programme changes this. We are so proud of the young leaders currently participating in the Our Lives, Our Voices project working in partnership to design the Wellbeing programme which will be delivered across all 5 Trusts in Northern Ireland.

‘Mental health has never had a bigger public profile and it is timely that now the Our Lives, Our Voices programme will be made available to the local young type 1 diabetes community. The constant finger-pricking, checking bloods, managing a relentless, lifelong condition, trying your best to live your life and balance all the demands of diabetes management can take its toll emotionally. Get in touch if you are aged 13-25 years- you are not alone, support is available and together we will work towards a world where diabetes can do no harm.’

This new programme is partnering with local mental health charities AWARE and Action Mental Health.

Tom McEneaney, Head of Business Development and Support Services at AWARE said, ‘AWARE is delighted to be partnering with Diabetes UK Northern Ireland and Action Mental Health in this very exciting youth-led, innovative project to enable young people to manage their lifelong condition.

‘Young people face many challenges in managing this condition and this project empowers them with the skills, knowledge and personal resilience to improve their overall physical and mental health and wellbeing.’

AMH Chief Executive, David Babington, said: “This ground-breaking initiative is unique for its youth-led approach, and aims to empower young people to better manage both their life long physical condition and mental health and well-being.

“Action Mental Health is delighted to support the mental health impact of the serious issue of diabetes and the need for emotional support.  By working collaboratively with partner agencies, health care professionals and young people, Diabetes UK Northern Ireland will be able to build peer support networks and enable young people to strengthen their personal resilience and management of their diabetes.”

If you are aged 13-25 years and living with type 1 diabetes in Northern Ireland and want to find out more or  take part in the Our Lives, Our Voices Wellbeing programme, contact  [email protected] or call Diabetes UK Northern Ireland on 028 9066 6646.