As Eating Disorder Awareness Week draws to a close, it’s a fitting time to reflect on the incidence of the issue in Northern Ireland society.

Each year in Northern Ireland some 50-120 people develop anorexia, while around 170 develop bulimia nervosa. There are around 100 admissions to acute hospitals for eating disorders every year, excluding patents requiring inpatient treatment outside Northern Ireland.

Between July 2012 and September 2015 the HSC Board revealed that 52 patients had to be sent to other hospitals or clinics in Great Britain or the Republic of Ireland because the necessary treatment wasn’t available here for them at home. Two of those were under 18.

But there is hope – especially in the Southern Health and Social Care Trust area who collaborate with Action Mental Health to deliver AMH everyBODY.

Since its relaunch in September – having undergone a facelift from its former guise ‘Adapt’ – the new look eating disorder service has helped support 177 people, who have benefited from one to one support, alongside a recovery plan back to health.

Some 2167 people have benefited from 41 awareness-raising sessions, delivered by specially trained staff who take the message of hope AMH everyBODY offers into the community. During that time, another 436 have had the support they seek via telephone or email – and that’s not an insignificant arm of support for people who feel afraid, desperate and alone in dealing with their eating disorder.

When Action Mental Health relaunched AMH everyBODY, it offered a model of best practice for the rest of Northern Ireland – but this potentially life-saving provision is available only within the Southern Health and Social Services Trust area.

During a special relaunch ceremony in September 2018 we shared the previous successes of the Adapt project, testament that was echoed by service users, some of whom readily declared that their lives have been saved by its intervention.

Statistics show that eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness, with one in five of the most seriously affected dying prematurely from the physical consequences or by suicide.

And as people with eating disorders face waiting lists in Northern Ireland AMH everyBODY provides the route map for other trust areas to emulate.

Action Mental Health Chief Executive David Babington comments:

“AMH everyBODY helps to promote a greater understanding and awareness of eating disorders and to break the stigmas attached to a condition, including unhelpful assumptions that it is attention-seeking behaviour or fad dieting – having an eating disorder is a serious mental health condition. The focus of everyBODY’s approach is recovery and its emphasis is on the hope for those affected can and do recover.

“AMH everyBODY provides much needed support not only to the person affected but also to their families and friends and it is such a such a successful programme that we look forward to the day when it might be rolled out across other Trust areas across Northern Ireland.”

Shauna Duggan, Eating Disorder Team Lead SHCT adds,

“The Adult Eating Disorder Service in The Southern Trust Treat people with eating disorders at all levels of severity. Anyone presenting with an eating disorder has the opportunity to link in with AMH everyBODY as a means of support while they await their first appointment. Acknowledging that you have an eating disorder and taking the first steps to seek help can be very daunting. AMH everyBODY can help to support suffers and their families to prepare for treatment and know what is expected from them and the Trust. Carers can continue to receive support through 1:1 sessions with AMH everyBODY or at a monthly support group which is co-facilitated by both everyBODY and the Adult eating disorder service. I would encourage anyone who is concerned about themselves or a loved one to speak with their GP or make initial contact with AMH everyBODY who can support you to be referred”.

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Click here to find out more about AMH everyBODY

 

 

 

Eating Disorder Awareness Week will soon be over but the issue of eating disorders is ever-present in Northern Ireland society.

As part of Action Mental Health’s aim to foster resilience in future generations, one vital facet of AMH everyBODY’s work is the delivery of BODYTALK workshop within schools in the Southern Health and Social Care Trust area. BodyTalk is an interactive workshop that aims to raise awareness and understanding of eating disorders, whilst looking at body image concerns in today’s society.

The workshop focuses on:

• eating disorders – the signs and symptoms, myths and misconceptions, causes and prevention, and where to go for support;
• body image concerns amongst young people – the role of the media with fitness, beauty and diet industry, and how to be aware of dangers and challenge harmful body ideals;
• building a body positive image through self-supporting skills of resilience and confidence building.

 

These workshops include clips from the Dove Self-Esteem campaign, https://www.dove.com/uk/dove-self-esteem-project.html along with interactive self-esteem group activities that offer opportunity for group discussions. Free of charge, the workshops have been received very positively by schools and colleges within the Southern Trust area.

Speak out and find support

AMH everBODY advises anyone with concerns about eating disorders to break the silence and speak out. Whether confiding in a friend, teacher, youth worker or family member, the next stop should be with their GP. The GP will then make an initial assessment and decide whether or not a referral is needed into the Eating Disorder Teams within the Health and Social Care Trusts.

Anyone unsure about contacting their GP could first get in touch with the following community organisations:

Eating Disorders Association NI
28 Bedford Street
Belfast  BT2 7EF

Tel: 028 9023 5959

http://www.eatingdisordersni.co.uk/Contact

The Laurence Trust
15 Muskett Glen
Carryduff
Belfast  BT8 8QU

Tel: 07510 371 335
Email: [email protected]

Fight ED
7 Cove View
Groomsport
Co. Down  BT19 6HR

Tel: 07999 901 936
Email: [email protected]

Northern Trust Area

Professional Support

Child and Adolescent Eating Disorder service – 02894424600

Adult Eating Disorder Service (18 and over) – 02894413307

Community Support

Stamp-ED

www.stamp-ED.co.uk

Southern Trust Area

Professional Support

Southern Health and Social Care Trust Eating Disorder Service

Child and Adolescent Eating Disorder service – 02838360680

Adult Eating Disorder Service (18 and over) – 02838311741

Western Trust Area

Professional Support

Western Health and Social Care Trust Eating Disorder Service

Child and Adolescent Eating Disorder service – 02882835990

Adult Eating Disorder Service (18 and over) – 02871320165

Eating Disorders West-NI

Community Support

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eatingdisordersni.west2017

Instagram: @EatingDisordersNI.West: https://www.instagram.com/eatingdisorders west

Twitter: @eating_ni Eating Disorders West NI https://twitter.com/eating ni

Helpline/textline: 07597 967 613

Republic of Ireland

Community Support

Bodywhys – The Eating Disorders Association of Ireland
PO Box 105
Blackrock
Co Dublin
Ireland

Tel: 01-2834963
Email (Office): [email protected]
Email (Support Service): [email protected]

• AMH everyBODY can be contacted at:
  13 Church Street
  Portadown
  Co Armagh

BT62 3LN

Tel: 028 38392314
Email: [email protected]

 

 

Eating disorders are not solely the preserve of females, and today, during Eating Disorder Awareness Week, we highlight the increasing incidence of eating disorder amongst males in Northern Ireland. Statistics show that of those treated for the range of conditions, some ten per cent are estimated to be male.

As Eating Disorder Awareness Week continues, males living with a related condition have a dedicated service to turn to in Northern Ireland – the Laurence Trust. The Trust is a local charity founded to help boys, teens and men suffering from eating disorders. It was founded by the grieving parents of Carryduff man Laurence Nugent who died in September 2009 following an eight year battle with bulimia.

The Trust, which provides information and links to support and a helpline, reveals Laurence’s heart-breaking story…

“Laurence was a healthy boy who grew into a well-built athletic young man, 5ft 7in tall and weighed around 11 stone. Like his brother Christopher, Laurence regularly played his much loved game of football for the local club from the age of 12 years, up until 6 months before he passed away. Laurence was a valued member of the team and a good friend to all his teammates.

Like many of his friends, Laurence was a huge Manchester United supporter – going to games in Manchester, and watching practically every match he could in the local pub with his close circle of friends, and his brother Christopher who shared Laurence’s passion for both football and Man United! As well as being brothers the two boys were best friends. Wherever Christopher was Laurence was always there too!

In his short life Laurence also had two long term relationships, both ladies whom he very much loved and admired, and became not only his partners but also his good friends. They were extremely sad when he passed away.

Laurence himself told us shortly before he tragically died that he had struggled to manage his eating disorder from the age of 16 years old, but we did not notice his problems for a number of years, only becoming obvious to us when he was around 21 years old, and began to lose a significant amount of weight despite eating a full and healthy diet.

He had began to eat ‘on the hour every hour’, having an insatiable appetite. Our first thoughts were that he was diabetic or had a terminal illness such as cancer- how could a young healthy man eat so much and yet lose so much weight?!!!! It wasn’t long before we began to notice that he would also regularly go to the toilet during and between meals- we noticed stains in the toilet. It still had never crossed our minds that Laurence could be bulimic.  Looking back now, we remember that from a young age, Laurence would have regurgitated his food sometimes after eating. At the time, however, we thought he had eaten too much too quickly – you don’t expect an eight year old to have an eating disorder.

Through the course of his illness Laurence became depressed, and found life itself hard to cope with at times. But Laurence, the strong, proud young man that he was, never let it show to the outside world. He still went out with his friends, played football, and he still held down a job – working as a care assistant to people including young people with mental health difficulties, and eating disorders just like himself.

There were visible signs that Laurence was suffering – his weight loss, he drank more than he should have, he became over-sensitive to the point of paranoia about the smallest  things. We noticed a change in his personality, he was angry about everyone and everything, easily irritated, argument after argument was a nightly occurrence in our home: shouting, anger, the tension was immense. Very quickly Laurence in his mind felt his Mum and Dad were his enemies as his suffering increased. Through the despair and worst times, Laurence attempted suicide – he tried 3 times and 3 times he failed.  Laurence himself told his Mum shortly before he passed away at his lowest times he would vomit as much as 25 times a day, in a continuous vicious yet unbreakable cycle of eating, drinking, and making himself sick (purging).

During his last few years Laurence along with his Mum and Dad sought to get help from his local healthcare services, but they didn’t seem to understand. This young man had to work up the courage to seek help, he was humiliated and embarrassed, only made worse by the fact that he worked as a care assistant within the local mental health setting which he himself now needed.

There was no obvious or immediate help for Laurence – why?  Because we didn’t know who or where to turn to. When we sought out help from the local GPs they didn’t understand or take the time to listen to Laurence or offer the appropriate support to help Laurence manage his suffering.  Laurence’s suffering was invisible you cannot see into the brain the way you can see a cut, and he suffered in silence.

For his family this was the most difficult part- we watched him eat, vomit, eat, vomit and lose weight, we listened to him cry so many times in utter despair, and we were so afraid of how this would all end – we were living every parent’s nightmare – you love your child regardless of their age and when they suffer, you suffer too!  As a family we felt helpless, we knew very little about bulimia or depression, we just didn’t understand.

On the evening of Tuesday 29th September 2009 Laurence went to bed, complaining of a pain in his chest, we ourselves thought this was as a result of muscle strain due to constant vomiting, but unfortunately we were wrong. Laurence suffered a major heart attack in the small hours of Wednesday 30th and passed away, he was 24 years old.”

Read more about the work of the Laurence Trust here https://www.thelaurencetrust.co.uk/

 

 

As Eating Disorders Awareness Week continues, today we look at eating disorders from a carer’s perspective – the people on the frontline, helping their loved one through their difficult journey through an eating disorder.

AMH everyBODY operates a helpful Monthly Carer Support Group – to help families and carers gain a better understanding of how best to support their loved one in a safe space to share their own feelings and experiences.

The support group meets every second Wednesday of every month. The Q&A with a carer, and the group feedback, below, highlight the concerns and issues facing people who care for people experiencing eating disorders.

 

Q. As a carer/mother how have you been impacted by Eating Disorders?

A. “When I discovered my daughter had an eating disorder I was devastated. I felt helpless and hopeless, confused, angry, worried and desperately scared.”

Q. What led you to seek support for yourself from AMH everyBODY?

A. “My daughter actually told me about it, having benefited herself from the service. She felt it would help me feel supported in supporting her and also give me a chance to voice my worries, fears and concerns.”

Q. What has been the most helpful thing you have learnt through receiving support?

A. “Understanding what people struggling with an eating disorder might think and feel. It has taught me what to say and what not to say to a person struggling with an eating disorder and has shown me how to be supportive and become a better, non- judgemental listener. It has also taught me how to empathise with the agony a person with an eating disorder may go through physically, mental and emotionally.”

Q. How, if any, has your life been impacted as a result of receiving support?

A. “I feel I can support my daughter now rather than being critical and judgemental of what I saw and couldn’t understand. My relationship with my daughter has improved.”

Q. What advice would you give to any other family/friend who is supporting someone living with an Eating Disorder?

A. “There is hope! Seek help from AMH everybody. It is an absolute lifeline and helps you as a parent support your child, while maintaining your own sanity and learning to care for yourself. I cannot thank enough Deborah (AMH everyBODY Project Worker) and the eating disorder team for the work that they do in this difficult and misunderstood field.”

Group Feedback

Q. What were some of the concerns you had when you first discovered your loved one had an Eating Disorder?

A.“Has something happened to cause this? How could I have missed this? Was it anything I’ve done? Could I have prevented this? Will they ever fully recover? When will that be?”

Q. What do you feel would be helpful for families to have information on that might have similar questions?

A.“Knowing the signs and symptoms. Knowing that there are just as many symptoms that you don’t see, like –

• Isolating themselves
• Loss of interest in hobbies
• Lack of sleep
• Lack of concentration
• Control over where to eat
• Fear of eating in front of people
• Low self esteem
• Signs of perfectionism
• Low mood
• Irritability
• Sudden change in personality

A. “It would be helpful to have more support from your GP and to not just be given a leaflet or number for Lifeline, but to have things explained a bit more, or be pointed in the direction of something like AMH everyBODY who can support families. I feel what I needed most was guidance on how to approach the subject of eating disorders. I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing, or making things worse. Through the Monthly Carer Support Group and the one-to-one support with AMH everyBODY I have learnt how to be more direct and when it’s appropriate to challenge the eating disorder but also to communicate in a non-judgemental and supportive way.”

Q.What things have helped you in supporting your loved one?

A. “Just having support for myself as well as my daughter. Being able to ask questions, and get more information to help me understand better. I understand that therapy needs to be confidential but as a parent it can feel like you’re left a bit in the dark so it helped having somewhere to go to like AMH everyBODY to be reassured about concerns.

A. “It really helped having the support group to come to.  Being around other families who just ‘got it’ and understood. It made me feel more normal, like we weren’t the only people going through this. Going to the support group was also a chance to have a few hours just to myself, where I was able to speak completely freely about any fears/worries/difficulties and know I’d be met with support and understanding.

A. “One thing AMH everyBODY and the other families taught me was that it is OK to give myself permission to recharge the batteries, to take a bit of time out if I need it. As a mother you sometimes want to wrap them up in cotton wool and fix everything, but there is only so much you can do. It’s been a hard but valuable lesson learning that people need to want to get better for themselves, and to step back to give them that opportunity to work through things and challenge themselves. My role is to support and encourage but not to take over and get better for them.”

Find out more about AMH everyBODY’s Monthly Carer Support Group by contacting [email protected]

 

As Eating Disorders Awareness Week continues, one woman, who availed of the support of AMH everyBODY during her battle with Binge Eating Disorder, tells her story…

“I was first referred to (then Adapt) by the Southern Trust’s Eating Disorder service as they didn’t specifically treat Binge Eating Disorder. What led me to seek help was that I realised there was a problem, that my relationship with food wasn’t healthy and there were other things going on emotionally but I didn’t know how to go about fixing things on my own.  It wasn’t until I researched into eating disorders that I actually knew that Binge Eating Disorder was a recognised and diagnosable eating disorder, which was a mental illness.

On the one hand I was obsessed with everything I was eating/tracking calories and very strict with exercise, but on the other hand I felt completely out of control around food and the restriction would lead to bingeing.

It really hit home that I needed support when I had planned to take a trip away and it felt impossible to go because of my overwhelming thoughts around food, weight and exercise. I felt I couldn’t focus to find enjoyment in the things I wanted to.

My thoughts were completely consumed by food and self-critical thoughts. It became a vicious cycle of bingeing when I was feeling depressed, then feeling more guilt, then compensating with punishing behaviours and thoughts and I just couldn’t stop.

How it impacted me emotionally was huge – I felt depressed and had very low self-esteem. I felt constantly annoyed at myself, disappointed in myself and was just generally hard on myself.  It also took a toll on my relationship.

Stigmas and misconceptions

I think most people will recognise signs of anorexia or bulimia but it can be particularly difficult with someone who does fall within a normal weight. This is because generally a lot of people tend to look for physical symptoms of eating disorders. They just don’t realise that it is a mental illness, and it’s much more about how that person is feeling and what they are dealing with underneath the surface.  You cannot tell someone has an eating disorder just by looking at them.

Value

AMH everyBODY was so valuable to me, providing me with somewhere local to go to get support, where you weren’t on your own. The support helped me to deal with a lot of the emotional hang-ups I had. I learnt a lot about my own self-worth and that it wasn’t dictated by size.  All my life I had wanted to be smaller, but it was through everyBODY’s support that I learnt that there are so many more valuable things to invest my time and energy into – like my strength of character, my interests, the things in life that bring me joy.  The support helped me to realise that having an eating disorder does not make you a failure, that it wasn’t a choice. It was a way of coping and I learnt new ways of coping and dealing with emotions and thoughts.

Six months on

I’m a different person now than I was when I first asked for help. The biggest change for me was getting over an overwhelming fear of gaining weight. I now know there is a lot more to me than weight. Through the support I received, I was able to leave an extremely triggering environment, which for me was a competitive gym regime, as it became a punishment. Since I decided to leave, it has taken so much pressure off me.  I hadn’t been exercising for enjoyment; it was to compensate and punish myself.  I feel like now I have room to breathe. I don’t feel so trapped anymore.  I’m now able to have the freedom to rediscover what matters and is important to me. I don’t feel like I have to do things to fit an ideal anymore, or to impress anyone else. I’ve learnt that if it doesn’t serve you, let it go!

Journey of self-awareness

During my journey I learnt I was far too hard on myself, and that I needed to give myself a break. I started to practice compassion for myself and that is something I still do. I learnt that being happy with who I am, within myself, was far more important that trying to fit other people’s ideals. I learnt to get to know myself again, to make peace with myself. In the beginning, all I could see were the negative thoughts and bad things about myself but I’ve learnt to challenge this mindset and recognise my own strengths. I’ve certainly learnt to just listen to my body more, to let it rest when it needs to.

Advice to others

The main thing is to seek help, to reach out and talk; to be honest with yourself, and if something doesn’t feel right, speak to someone. People must remember that you are not a failure for having an eating disorder – it is a mental illness and can happen to anyone. And if I needed the support of everyBODY in the future I would do it again, 100%, without a doubt.

What more can society do?

As a society we need to refrain from making judgements based on appearances only, or to make assumptions about people. We need to remember that you can’t tell someone has an eating disorder just by looking at them. Society also needs to share more information on different types of symptoms to look out for, and to keep the conversations going to educate each other.

Action Mental Health’s eating disorder service AMH everyBODY helps people cope with their journey through their troubled relationships with food. Formerly known as Adapt, AMH everyBODY offers a new model of service in partnership with the Southern Health & Social Care Trust.

 

 

Eating disorders are highly complex psychological illnesses that can develop for myriad reasons. They can arise from a complex interaction of biological, psychological and social factors and what triggers an eating disorder in one person can be very different to the trigger for another, according to everyBODY Project Worker Deborah McCready.

Few people who develop eating disorders will experience the same symptoms. Similarly, different treatments work for different people and recovery lengths vary. Eating disorders can be seen as a way of coping with emotional distress, or as a symptom of underlying issues.

• Eating disorders are not primarily about food.
• Eating disorders can affect anyone.
• People can and do recover.

Eating disorders are characterised by varied disordered eating behaviours such as:

• Self-starvation – by fasting and/or food restriction.
• Purging – by self-induced vomiting, over-exercising, or laxative abuse.
• Bingeing – by consuming quantities of food beyond what the body needs to satisfy hunger.

An eating disorder can be very destructive, both physically and emotionally, and people can get trapped into the destructive cycle of the eating disorder without knowing how to cope with it. An eating disorder is not just about food and weight, but also about a person’s sense of who they are.

Although the term ‘eating disorder’ is applied to a wide range of disordered eating behaviours, there are four main classifications: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder and Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED). Just because somebody doesn’t fit in absolutely with one particular category doesn’t mean they don’t have an eating disorder. A large number of people with eating disorders don’t fit strictly into one category but fluctuate between the three and may be diagnosed with OSFED.

ANOREXIA NERVOSA

• A person will make determined efforts to attain and maintain a body weight lower than the normal body weight for their age, sex and height
• They will be preoccupied with thoughts of food and the need to lose weight
• They may exercise excessively and may engage in purging behaviours

BULIMIA NERVOSA

• A person will make determined efforts to purge themselves of any food eaten, sometimes following a binge, and often following ‘normal’ food intake
• They will engage in high-risk behaviours that can include fasting, excessive exercising, self-induced vomiting, and/or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics or other medications
• They may maintain a body weight within the normal range of their age, sex and height. As a result, bulimia is often less obvious than anorexia and can go unnoticed for longer

BINGE EATING DISORDER

• A person will engage in repeated episodes of bingeing without purging
• They will likely gain considerable amounts of weight over time
• They find themselves trapped in a cycle of dieting, bingeing, self-recrimination and self-loathing

PEOPLE EXPERIENCING AN EATING DISORDER MAY

• Have dieted
• Have low self-esteem– though this may not be obvious, as people who develop eating disorders are often ‘high achievers’
• Show a marked over-concern with body shape, weight and size, and an obsession with food
• See thinness as a magical solution to problems, while weight gain is feared
• Have difficulty identifying and expressing their real needs
• View their body as larger than it actually is (distorted body image)
• Have problems around control
• Find it hard to talk about their feelings and to deal with conflict
• Be depressed and may become isolated
• Experience mood swings
• Find change difficult and spontaneity challenging
• May eat alone or in secret
• Have sensitivity to cold
• Have absent mensturation
• Engage in compulsive exercise
• Have excessive fine hair on body and face
• Suffer dehydration

ADVICE ON HOW TO HELP A LOVED ONE SUFFERING FROM AN EATING DISORDER

If you are worried about someone’s eating behaviors or attitudes, it is important to express your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is also necessary to discuss your worries early on, rather than waiting until they have endured many of the damaging physical and emotional effects of eating disorders.

Approaching the subject of an eating disorder can be a daunting prospect.  Remember that recovery is so much more difficult in an atmosphere of secrecy and denial, and the disorder will not go away by itself. Talking about it can be an essential first step

What to Say – Step by Step

Set a time to talk. Set aside a time for a private, respectful meeting with them to discuss your concerns openly and honestly in a caring, supportive way. Make sure you will be some place away from other distractions.

Talk to them one to one. If other people are around it people feel like you’re ganging up on them.

Communicate your concerns. Share your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about their eating or exercise behaviors. Explain that you think these things may indicate that there could be a problem that needs professional attention.

Ask them to explore these concerns with a GP, counsellor, doctor, nutritionist, or other health professional that is knowledgeable about eating issues. If you feel comfortable doing so, offer to help them to make an appointment or accompany them on their first visit.

Avoid conflicts or a battle of the wills with them. If they refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem, or give any reason for you to be concerned, restate your feelings and the reasons for them and leave yourself open and available as a supportive listener.

Have some information about eating disorders to hand. They may not feel ready to talk or share with you yet but if they can go away with information to read that helps them to recognise they may need help, they are more likely to come forward when they’re ready to ask for support.

Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt on them regarding their actions or attitudes. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements. For example: “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch.” Or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.”

Be aware that they’re likely to be feeling embarrassed, shamed and scared. Acknowledge that this must be difficult for them and reassure them that you aren’t there to judge, but to support.

Avoid giving simple solutions. For example, “If you’d just stop, then everything would be fine!”

Express your continued support. Remind them that you care and want them to be healthy and happy.

As the global spotlight shines on eating disorders, one client of AMH everyBODY reveals what life with an eating disorder is really like…

“AMH everyBODY provided a relaxed setting, which made me automatically feel less ashamed- something I had been feeling for a long time. One of the first things that really helped me was that it also helped my family, for the first time, to gain an understanding of how things were affecting me. Through everyBODY’s one-to-one support, and by coming to the Carer Support group, I could see they were starting to have an understanding of how difficult things were for me, that it wasn’t just all about food or weight.  It gave them a different perspective and they were able to communicate in a better way with me.

The service has taught me that it’s OK to be different, that uniqueness is a good thing that should be celebrated. Through AMH everyBODY I was able to find my identity again. With an eating disorder you are constantly comparing yourself to others, and not feeling good enough. I was able to discover MY voice. I learnt it was OK to put myself and my needs first. The creative photography course offered during this journey helped me to challenge myself especially in a social environment.

Stigma

One of the hardest parts of my journey was being able to open up and be honest. It took about a year to admit to myself and my family that there was a problem. The main reason was because of the stigma – the fear of what other people would think, that they would judge me and think it was about being vain, which it wasn’t!

For me, speaking out about my eating disorder led to people understanding.  I was surprised by the support from both genders amongst my peers. Male friends were genuinely interested and hadn’t realised that is was about so much more than just food. It really helped letting people know that it was more about what is going on in your head.

Impact

 Living with an eating disorder took EVERYTHING away from me. It was a very sneaky, secretive thing to live with and it surrounded me with a cloak of shame. It deprived me of my enjoyment of things I used to love and was interested in; the things you enjoyed doing become unthinkable. Your thoughts are taken over by eating disorder thoughts and it’s all consuming: I couldn’t concentrate or think about anything else. I remember feeling numb, trapped – like there was no way out.”

Recovery

 The support from everyBODY has meant EVERYTHING to me. Through the service, I was able to discover who I was again, to be able to be truthful to myself. I’ve been able to start to find beauty in life again, and start to enjoy new things.  Recently, I was able to go on a trip, and for the first time, feel a sense of freedom – to not be controlled by my eating disorder. Within my family, we were always close but now we are a lot more open and check in on each other more.

Advice

 My advice to others would be to remember that recovery is a journey – it can take time and you may  have ups and downs but it’s worth it. Be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to change everything overnight – just take things at your own pace. Try to find what matters to you and don’t be afraid to distance yourself from negative influences.”