Today is International Women’s Day. It is a day to celebrate all of womankind. A day to hail the accomplishments, successes, complexities and inner beauty of women – the mothers, grandmothers and childless alike; young, old and middle-aged. That’s every woman: the pioneers, the flag bearers, the leaders, the artistic and talented, but also the disadvantaged, the displaced and the desperate.

As we celebrate with the rest of the world, close to home we can’t do so without praising the wonderful women who have come through the doors of Action Mental Health over the years. The woman who have sought refuge from anxiety or depression – some mere shells of their former selves. At AMH, they’ve been given support to transform into women they never knew they could become ­– strong resolute: women of substance, no matter how hard their journey or how long their road to recovery.

Women like Charis….

“I know how it is to feel empty and trapped in pain. If anyone is offering you help, just grab it with both hands, because it can and will get better. I promise you. You are never, ever alone in this fight. All I can say is-the staff in AMH New Horizons gave me my life back.”

Women like Rumer 

“I get to brag to all my friends that ” I MADE this!” and it’s been getting me out of bed and out the house before noon every Wednesday for months which is a much bigger deal that it sounds, seriously.”

Women like Michelle

“I could not give up no matter how hard it got for me.  Persistence and the goal to be the new person my family and I could be proud of and able to live with, kept me focused”.

Women like Emma

“I was willing to try anything in order to help with my social anxiety and confidence”.

Read their stories by clicking on their names – and discover more inspirational stories here.

Hard-working clients at Action Mental Health have been lauded for their labours to attain recognised qualifications, as the organisation was commended for providing them with the opportunity to achieve them.

Seven clients who attend a variety of Action Mental Health’s nine New Horizons Services around Northern Ireland received their Open College Network NI (OCN NI) vocational qualifications at its first Recognising Learning Endeavour Awards ceremony at Belfast’s Stormont Hotel on March 5.

All seven clients received ‘Highly Commended’ awards at the ceremony, while Action Mental Health also received a ‘Highly Commended’ Award in the ‘Provider of the Year’ Category.

OCN NI is a UK regulated awarding organisation and educational charity that designs and awards vocational qualifications for adults and young people across all sector areas. It awards professional and technical qualifications, tackling educational underachievement and addressing skills gaps in Northern Ireland.

Chief Executive of Action Mental Health, David Babington added: “AMH New Horizons have been a longstanding provider of OCN qualifications, which have acted as a catalyst for participants to engage in other service programmes with the ultimate goal of improving their well-being and quality of life.

“We’re delighted with these inaugural awards and look forward to celebrating the achievements of our learners.  Supporting this event helps us contribute to realising our vision – a society which actively values and supports people on their journey to positive mental health,” he added.

AMH New Horizons is part-funded through the Northern Ireland European Social Fund Programme 2014-2020 and the Department for the Economy. 

Martin Flynn, CEO of OCNI said: “At OCN NI, we are continually inspired by the hard work, perseverance and accomplishments of our learners and approved centres. The Awards recognise the achievements of learners who seek to achieve their goals in life and work and their tutors/teachers and educational providers who help enable them to succeed. The OCN NI has a commitment to ensure that as many people as possible, irrespective of their background get an opportunity to advance their knowledge and skills in their chosen field of endeavour.”

For the final segment of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, we give the last word to someone who knows only too well  the personal battle being waged within individuals who deal with the issue of eating disorders day in day out.

(The names have been changed to protect the writer’s identity.)

 

 

A Journey with my ‘Best Friend’, ED.

By a client of AMH everBODY

 

On a journey with no final destination,

Looking for answers, impatiently waiting.

Moments of realisation come to the fore,

Moments of madness I seem to have more.

 

It’s Sunday now and I’ve survived another week,

The thoughts of a new one though is still as bleak.

I dread each one as much as the last,

Praying to God they pass by right and fast.

I’m wishing my life away, of that I know,

It feels like I’ve no other way to go.

Waiting for each day to pass by,

Doing everything in my power just to not cry.

 

Some days however the tears they do stream,

Other days all I want to do is scream.

Nobody to talk to who will understand,

So I just hold it all in and say ‘I’m grand’.

People don’t get it and rightly so,

They can’t see how I’m feeling this low.

I don’t blame anyone as it’s my own fault,

I’ve locked my real self away in a vault.

 

I’ve thrown away the key as far as I can,

And to start searching I need to lift the ban.

To do that though I have to actually want to,

I need to wake up and change my whole view.

I really wish at the minute I knew how,

But with myself stuck in this rut, I can’t allow.

No room for change or flexibility,

To me this is easier, the simplicity.

 

People won’t understand how I can say this is easier,

Than to sit with feelings of getting fatter and lazier.

To carry on like this and stay in the comfort zone,

Is easier than to fight and face the unknown.

 

I don’t see where my life is going,

I suppose with anyone there’s no way of knowing.

I would like some small changes with a few things,

At the minute I’ve no idea what the future brings.

I’ve no security in any aspect of my life,

This feeling cuts me deep like a knife.

 

I have visions of the future of how I foresee,

Jake and I plus a few mini me’s!

What I’m doing now I’m ruining that chance,

My life is flashing by me at a glance.

I want to settle down with my boo,

But I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to.

Who in their right mind wants to deal with this,

The moods, the anger, the indecisiveness?

 

Every part of my life has now felt the blow,

Jake, my family and even my job, I know.

No social life like a normal 24 year old,

These should be my best years I keep being told.

 

Instead I sit here starving myself,

Even though I see what I am doing to my health.

Spending my days running and avoiding food,

Even though I see clearly how it’s affecting my mood.

Feeling cold and lethargic most of the time,

Even though I know why in my own mind.

All these ‘even thoughts’ still don’t make me stop,

My head is going crazy, it’s about to pop.

 

As I sit here writing this I could say so much more,

I could just keep going and let the feelings pour.

It’s not until I take a step back and think,

What I’m doing to myself, it makes my heart sink.

Why am I doing this to myself I just can’t tell,

Why am I putting those who love me through hell?

It’s the most selfish thing as it’s affecting others,

But to me sometimes none of that matters.

I am so caught up in my own little bubble,

I don’t think about how I am causing all this trouble.

 

To wave a magic wand and take this all away,

For that I would give my whole life’s worth of pay.

I’m writing everything negative down,

But I know it still won’t turn things around.

Nothing seems to be enough no matter what,

What the hell is it going to take to crack this nut?

 

My head is tormented, going round in circles,

Wakening each day and hoping for miracles.

Praying to God this is all a bad dream,

But it’s just as raw and real as it seems.

 

I want to love and be loved and laugh and dance,

I need to allow myself to have that chance.

Please somebody, anybody, help me rediscover,

The Katie of old, the Katie the ‘nutter’!

I can’t remember ‘normal’ so I need to relearn,

And to loosen this grip that is holding me so firm.

 

I want to be free from my ‘Best Friend’,

As I’m too young yet for my real journey to end…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Eating Disorder Awareness Week draws to a close, it’s a fitting time to reflect on the incidence of the issue in Northern Ireland society.

Each year in Northern Ireland some 50-120 people develop anorexia, while around 170 develop bulimia nervosa. There are around 100 admissions to acute hospitals for eating disorders every year, excluding patents requiring inpatient treatment outside Northern Ireland.

Between July 2012 and September 2015 the HSC Board revealed that 52 patients had to be sent to other hospitals or clinics in Great Britain or the Republic of Ireland because the necessary treatment wasn’t available here for them at home. Two of those were under 18.

But there is hope – especially in the Southern Health and Social Care Trust area who collaborate with Action Mental Health to deliver AMH everyBODY.

Since its relaunch in September – having undergone a facelift from its former guise ‘Adapt’ – the new look eating disorder service has helped support 177 people, who have benefited from one to one support, alongside a recovery plan back to health.

Some 2167 people have benefited from 41 awareness-raising sessions, delivered by specially trained staff who take the message of hope AMH everyBODY offers into the community. During that time, another 436 have had the support they seek via telephone or email – and that’s not an insignificant arm of support for people who feel afraid, desperate and alone in dealing with their eating disorder.

When Action Mental Health relaunched AMH everyBODY, it offered a model of best practice for the rest of Northern Ireland – but this potentially life-saving provision is available only within the Southern Health and Social Services Trust area.

During a special relaunch ceremony in September 2018 we shared the previous successes of the Adapt project, testament that was echoed by service users, some of whom readily declared that their lives have been saved by its intervention.

Statistics show that eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness, with one in five of the most seriously affected dying prematurely from the physical consequences or by suicide.

And as people with eating disorders face waiting lists in Northern Ireland AMH everyBODY provides the route map for other trust areas to emulate.

Action Mental Health Chief Executive David Babington comments:

“AMH everyBODY helps to promote a greater understanding and awareness of eating disorders and to break the stigmas attached to a condition, including unhelpful assumptions that it is attention-seeking behaviour or fad dieting – having an eating disorder is a serious mental health condition. The focus of everyBODY’s approach is recovery and its emphasis is on the hope for those affected can and do recover.

“AMH everyBODY provides much needed support not only to the person affected but also to their families and friends and it is such a such a successful programme that we look forward to the day when it might be rolled out across other Trust areas across Northern Ireland.”

Shauna Duggan, Eating Disorder Team Lead SHCT adds,

“The Adult Eating Disorder Service in The Southern Trust Treat people with eating disorders at all levels of severity. Anyone presenting with an eating disorder has the opportunity to link in with AMH everyBODY as a means of support while they await their first appointment. Acknowledging that you have an eating disorder and taking the first steps to seek help can be very daunting. AMH everyBODY can help to support suffers and their families to prepare for treatment and know what is expected from them and the Trust. Carers can continue to receive support through 1:1 sessions with AMH everyBODY or at a monthly support group which is co-facilitated by both everyBODY and the Adult eating disorder service. I would encourage anyone who is concerned about themselves or a loved one to speak with their GP or make initial contact with AMH everyBODY who can support you to be referred”.

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Click here to find out more about AMH everyBODY

 

 

 

Eating Disorder Awareness Week will soon be over but the issue of eating disorders is ever-present in Northern Ireland society.

As part of Action Mental Health’s aim to foster resilience in future generations, one vital facet of AMH everyBODY’s work is the delivery of BODYTALK workshop within schools in the Southern Health and Social Care Trust area. BodyTalk is an interactive workshop that aims to raise awareness and understanding of eating disorders, whilst looking at body image concerns in today’s society.

The workshop focuses on:

• eating disorders – the signs and symptoms, myths and misconceptions, causes and prevention, and where to go for support;
• body image concerns amongst young people – the role of the media with fitness, beauty and diet industry, and how to be aware of dangers and challenge harmful body ideals;
• building a body positive image through self-supporting skills of resilience and confidence building.

 

These workshops include clips from the Dove Self-Esteem campaign, https://www.dove.com/uk/dove-self-esteem-project.html along with interactive self-esteem group activities that offer opportunity for group discussions. Free of charge, the workshops have been received very positively by schools and colleges within the Southern Trust area.

Speak out and find support

AMH everBODY advises anyone with concerns about eating disorders to break the silence and speak out. Whether confiding in a friend, teacher, youth worker or family member, the next stop should be with their GP. The GP will then make an initial assessment and decide whether or not a referral is needed into the Eating Disorder Teams within the Health and Social Care Trusts.

Anyone unsure about contacting their GP could first get in touch with the following community organisations:

Eating Disorders Association NI
28 Bedford Street
Belfast  BT2 7EF

Tel: 028 9023 5959

http://www.eatingdisordersni.co.uk/Contact

The Laurence Trust
15 Muskett Glen
Carryduff
Belfast  BT8 8QU

Tel: 07510 371 335
Email: [email protected]

Fight ED
7 Cove View
Groomsport
Co. Down  BT19 6HR

Tel: 07999 901 936
Email: [email protected]

Northern Trust Area

Professional Support

Child and Adolescent Eating Disorder service – 02894424600

Adult Eating Disorder Service (18 and over) – 02894413307

Community Support

Stamp-ED

www.stamp-ED.co.uk

Southern Trust Area

Professional Support

Southern Health and Social Care Trust Eating Disorder Service

Child and Adolescent Eating Disorder service – 02838360680

Adult Eating Disorder Service (18 and over) – 02838311741

Western Trust Area

Professional Support

Western Health and Social Care Trust Eating Disorder Service

Child and Adolescent Eating Disorder service – 02882835990

Adult Eating Disorder Service (18 and over) – 02871320165

Eating Disorders West-NI

Community Support

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eatingdisordersni.west2017

Instagram: @EatingDisordersNI.West: https://www.instagram.com/eatingdisorders west

Twitter: @eating_ni Eating Disorders West NI https://twitter.com/eating ni

Helpline/textline: 07597 967 613

Republic of Ireland

Community Support

Bodywhys – The Eating Disorders Association of Ireland
PO Box 105
Blackrock
Co Dublin
Ireland

Tel: 01-2834963
Email (Office): [email protected]
Email (Support Service): [email protected]

• AMH everyBODY can be contacted at:
  13 Church Street
  Portadown
  Co Armagh

BT62 3LN

Tel: 028 38392314
Email: [email protected]

 

 

Eating disorders are not solely the preserve of females, and today, during Eating Disorder Awareness Week, we highlight the increasing incidence of eating disorder amongst males in Northern Ireland. Statistics show that of those treated for the range of conditions, some ten per cent are estimated to be male.

As Eating Disorder Awareness Week continues, males living with a related condition have a dedicated service to turn to in Northern Ireland – the Laurence Trust. The Trust is a local charity founded to help boys, teens and men suffering from eating disorders. It was founded by the grieving parents of Carryduff man Laurence Nugent who died in September 2009 following an eight year battle with bulimia.

The Trust, which provides information and links to support and a helpline, reveals Laurence’s heart-breaking story…

“Laurence was a healthy boy who grew into a well-built athletic young man, 5ft 7in tall and weighed around 11 stone. Like his brother Christopher, Laurence regularly played his much loved game of football for the local club from the age of 12 years, up until 6 months before he passed away. Laurence was a valued member of the team and a good friend to all his teammates.

Like many of his friends, Laurence was a huge Manchester United supporter – going to games in Manchester, and watching practically every match he could in the local pub with his close circle of friends, and his brother Christopher who shared Laurence’s passion for both football and Man United! As well as being brothers the two boys were best friends. Wherever Christopher was Laurence was always there too!

In his short life Laurence also had two long term relationships, both ladies whom he very much loved and admired, and became not only his partners but also his good friends. They were extremely sad when he passed away.

Laurence himself told us shortly before he tragically died that he had struggled to manage his eating disorder from the age of 16 years old, but we did not notice his problems for a number of years, only becoming obvious to us when he was around 21 years old, and began to lose a significant amount of weight despite eating a full and healthy diet.

He had began to eat ‘on the hour every hour’, having an insatiable appetite. Our first thoughts were that he was diabetic or had a terminal illness such as cancer- how could a young healthy man eat so much and yet lose so much weight?!!!! It wasn’t long before we began to notice that he would also regularly go to the toilet during and between meals- we noticed stains in the toilet. It still had never crossed our minds that Laurence could be bulimic.  Looking back now, we remember that from a young age, Laurence would have regurgitated his food sometimes after eating. At the time, however, we thought he had eaten too much too quickly – you don’t expect an eight year old to have an eating disorder.

Through the course of his illness Laurence became depressed, and found life itself hard to cope with at times. But Laurence, the strong, proud young man that he was, never let it show to the outside world. He still went out with his friends, played football, and he still held down a job – working as a care assistant to people including young people with mental health difficulties, and eating disorders just like himself.

There were visible signs that Laurence was suffering – his weight loss, he drank more than he should have, he became over-sensitive to the point of paranoia about the smallest  things. We noticed a change in his personality, he was angry about everyone and everything, easily irritated, argument after argument was a nightly occurrence in our home: shouting, anger, the tension was immense. Very quickly Laurence in his mind felt his Mum and Dad were his enemies as his suffering increased. Through the despair and worst times, Laurence attempted suicide – he tried 3 times and 3 times he failed.  Laurence himself told his Mum shortly before he passed away at his lowest times he would vomit as much as 25 times a day, in a continuous vicious yet unbreakable cycle of eating, drinking, and making himself sick (purging).

During his last few years Laurence along with his Mum and Dad sought to get help from his local healthcare services, but they didn’t seem to understand. This young man had to work up the courage to seek help, he was humiliated and embarrassed, only made worse by the fact that he worked as a care assistant within the local mental health setting which he himself now needed.

There was no obvious or immediate help for Laurence – why?  Because we didn’t know who or where to turn to. When we sought out help from the local GPs they didn’t understand or take the time to listen to Laurence or offer the appropriate support to help Laurence manage his suffering.  Laurence’s suffering was invisible you cannot see into the brain the way you can see a cut, and he suffered in silence.

For his family this was the most difficult part- we watched him eat, vomit, eat, vomit and lose weight, we listened to him cry so many times in utter despair, and we were so afraid of how this would all end – we were living every parent’s nightmare – you love your child regardless of their age and when they suffer, you suffer too!  As a family we felt helpless, we knew very little about bulimia or depression, we just didn’t understand.

On the evening of Tuesday 29th September 2009 Laurence went to bed, complaining of a pain in his chest, we ourselves thought this was as a result of muscle strain due to constant vomiting, but unfortunately we were wrong. Laurence suffered a major heart attack in the small hours of Wednesday 30th and passed away, he was 24 years old.”

Read more about the work of the Laurence Trust here https://www.thelaurencetrust.co.uk/

 

 

As Eating Disorders Awareness Week continues, today we look at eating disorders from a carer’s perspective – the people on the frontline, helping their loved one through their difficult journey through an eating disorder.

AMH everyBODY operates a helpful Monthly Carer Support Group – to help families and carers gain a better understanding of how best to support their loved one in a safe space to share their own feelings and experiences.

The support group meets every second Wednesday of every month. The Q&A with a carer, and the group feedback, below, highlight the concerns and issues facing people who care for people experiencing eating disorders.

 

Q. As a carer/mother how have you been impacted by Eating Disorders?

A. “When I discovered my daughter had an eating disorder I was devastated. I felt helpless and hopeless, confused, angry, worried and desperately scared.”

Q. What led you to seek support for yourself from AMH everyBODY?

A. “My daughter actually told me about it, having benefited herself from the service. She felt it would help me feel supported in supporting her and also give me a chance to voice my worries, fears and concerns.”

Q. What has been the most helpful thing you have learnt through receiving support?

A. “Understanding what people struggling with an eating disorder might think and feel. It has taught me what to say and what not to say to a person struggling with an eating disorder and has shown me how to be supportive and become a better, non- judgemental listener. It has also taught me how to empathise with the agony a person with an eating disorder may go through physically, mental and emotionally.”

Q. How, if any, has your life been impacted as a result of receiving support?

A. “I feel I can support my daughter now rather than being critical and judgemental of what I saw and couldn’t understand. My relationship with my daughter has improved.”

Q. What advice would you give to any other family/friend who is supporting someone living with an Eating Disorder?

A. “There is hope! Seek help from AMH everybody. It is an absolute lifeline and helps you as a parent support your child, while maintaining your own sanity and learning to care for yourself. I cannot thank enough Deborah (AMH everyBODY Project Worker) and the eating disorder team for the work that they do in this difficult and misunderstood field.”

Group Feedback

Q. What were some of the concerns you had when you first discovered your loved one had an Eating Disorder?

A.“Has something happened to cause this? How could I have missed this? Was it anything I’ve done? Could I have prevented this? Will they ever fully recover? When will that be?”

Q. What do you feel would be helpful for families to have information on that might have similar questions?

A.“Knowing the signs and symptoms. Knowing that there are just as many symptoms that you don’t see, like –

• Isolating themselves
• Loss of interest in hobbies
• Lack of sleep
• Lack of concentration
• Control over where to eat
• Fear of eating in front of people
• Low self esteem
• Signs of perfectionism
• Low mood
• Irritability
• Sudden change in personality

A. “It would be helpful to have more support from your GP and to not just be given a leaflet or number for Lifeline, but to have things explained a bit more, or be pointed in the direction of something like AMH everyBODY who can support families. I feel what I needed most was guidance on how to approach the subject of eating disorders. I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing, or making things worse. Through the Monthly Carer Support Group and the one-to-one support with AMH everyBODY I have learnt how to be more direct and when it’s appropriate to challenge the eating disorder but also to communicate in a non-judgemental and supportive way.”

Q.What things have helped you in supporting your loved one?

A. “Just having support for myself as well as my daughter. Being able to ask questions, and get more information to help me understand better. I understand that therapy needs to be confidential but as a parent it can feel like you’re left a bit in the dark so it helped having somewhere to go to like AMH everyBODY to be reassured about concerns.

A. “It really helped having the support group to come to.  Being around other families who just ‘got it’ and understood. It made me feel more normal, like we weren’t the only people going through this. Going to the support group was also a chance to have a few hours just to myself, where I was able to speak completely freely about any fears/worries/difficulties and know I’d be met with support and understanding.

A. “One thing AMH everyBODY and the other families taught me was that it is OK to give myself permission to recharge the batteries, to take a bit of time out if I need it. As a mother you sometimes want to wrap them up in cotton wool and fix everything, but there is only so much you can do. It’s been a hard but valuable lesson learning that people need to want to get better for themselves, and to step back to give them that opportunity to work through things and challenge themselves. My role is to support and encourage but not to take over and get better for them.”

Find out more about AMH everyBODY’s Monthly Carer Support Group by contacting [email protected]